"Remember the time we broke into a cemetery?"

Cementerio Santa Maria Magdalena de Pazzis

...I said to Stella as we broke into a cemetery.

As I write this I’m on hold with American Airlines. I’ve been on hold for over two hours. Why? Because I never want to leave Puerto Rico.

Since I landed in San Juan 27 hours ago, I’ve laughed more and harder than I can remember doing in the last year. It’s a magical combination of my best friend, a wonderful city, a crew of the sweetest, most fantastic people, and general awesomeness. I love my life!

Morning 1, Stella had to work for a few hours so I took off into town to find a bakery I’d read about called Kasalta. President Obama visited there in 2011 and had a sandwich called the Media Noche, which has since been nick-named “El Presidente”. When I travel, I stay as far from chains and tourist food as I can, so I was thrilled to find this bakery was actually a cafeteria where everything was in Spanish and the long line to order was 90% locals. On the advice from this nice lady in line, I ordered a ton of food. And I did it ALL IN SPANISH! I can still speak Spanish! Yay me! (“Showoff,” texted Stella from work.)

OUTSIDE the cemetery, before the break-in

(FYI, “El Presidente” is a large ham and cheese pressed sandwich covered in powdered sugar. Stella and I both preferred the ham and cheese mallorca, which is like a cuban sandwich but on a mallorca pastry bread which is perfect in every way. Another notable favorite: quesitos which is like a Spanish cannolli.)

Stella finished work and after walking around the beach for a while, we headed back to Old San Juan to explore. The original rally cry for this trip was “SURFING!!!! WE’RE GOING SURFING!!”. This was before we realized how insane the wind was. With the waves the way they are, surfing would end in my certain death. I’m on a loving life kick lately, so no surfing for us.

last shot before The Fall

Exploring Old San Juan went like this: “STELLA!” as we ran into other crew members exploring the plaza, wandering around with them, laughing, laughing, wandering, random curio shop, random bongo music for an audience of maybe twelve people in a vacant lot, meeting more crew at the cemetery-

SIDEBAR: I love cemeteries like other people love museums. I get excited about cemeteries like other people get excited about theme parks. Every city I visit, I’ve got to see a cemetery. I was dying to see this one, Cementario Santa Maria Magdalena de Pazzis, because its located on a cliff. It’s  surrounded on three sides by the ruins of an old fortress and by the Atlantic Ocean on its remaining side. As far as cemeteries go, I knew this one would be breathtaking!

-which was closed behind a locked gate but you could still take pictures from the tops of the fort walls, so pictures, pictures, pictures until…

(You know when you’re doing something cool and in the back of your mind a small voice whispers “be careful, be careful” but the front of your mind is so excited, you’re like, “WOOOOWWWW!!!” and then…)

Oops.

I could only laugh as I watched my iPhone fall 20 yards down into the cemetery and land with a loud PAP!

“Typical Bianca,” said Alex who’d known me for about 16 hours. 

intact iPhone celebration dance 

intact iPhone celebration dance

So we broke in to rescue it. Breaking in wasn’t as hard as it should have been, being surrounded by a fortress and all, but Stella and my new friends Alex & Utah scaled a wall that got us beyond the locked gates. I rescued my UNBROKEN, PERFECTLY INTACT phone (insert plug for Otter Box iPhone Cases here: World, buy an Otter Box. I MEAN IT, BUY AN OTTER BOX. ) and the world rejoiced. 

Okay, my friends rejoiced, same diff.

Stella jumping!

Alex & Utah jumping!

Where are the vampires...?

Since no one was kicking us out, we played in the cemetery awhile, took more pictures, saw where some zombies probably dug their way out of their graves, discovered some totally empty vampire caskets, I found a dead cat strategically placed over a tomb that I can’t erase from my mind, and that was about enough for Stella. We broke back out and played on and around the fortress until it started to rain. 

Needles attack Stella

Playing around the fortress like a lady

The rains in Puerto Rico so far have been light and occasional. Sometimes a few drops, sometimes a handful more, every once in a while (like the night before when we danced in the street) the rain is big enough to be a gorgeous shower. This rain was not like that. Sharp needles of water hurled at us from the sky. We ran for a cab. Nature knew it was time for us to get back to the hotel to get ready for Stella’s birthday dinner... (I prefer that theory to the one where the ouch-rain came from the angered the spirits of the open graves, empty caskets, and the dead cat.)

I’ve been on hold now for three hours, 31 minutes and six seconds… I think of my mom’s words to me yesterday: Let life show you where to go. Therefore, I’ll end this call with grace, fall into bed with gratitude, and enjoy my last day tomorrow. And when I get to the airport in 36 hours, if I can’t talk my way into taking a later flight with one of the agents, I’ll still fly home happy because, how can I not?

Dead pictures outside the cemetery