"2021, 2022, whatever it is..."

...said my friend Hayley, and isn't that just the vibe of the world right now?

Call Me Daffy

Thursday, Jan 20

Y'all. It's been a while since I've traveled, so it's been a while since I blogged. I'm vaxxed, boosted, N-95'd, and ready to party... !!!!!!! ...Did that sound okay? I haven't been around people-- oh God. I think the Austin Airport is having a fire drill? Or a bombscare? Or an active shooter? What does it mean when an ear-splitting alarm and flashing lights go off at the Taco Deli but no one seems to notice but you…?

In an effort to upgrade my blog (EEE!EEE!EEE!…EEE!EEE!EEE!...I'm going deaf, I wish I could record this, but then you'd go deaf too- OH! Relative silence! THANK GOD, THE ALARM STOPPED.) I sucked the whole DemonSauce shebang onto Wordpress because I did 4 minutes of research and learned it was easy to use. It's not, actually. Reading or watching tutorials isn't as much fun as clicking random things and getting nowhere, so I'm still nowhere but I wanna blog my trip so Welcome! to my dry and incoherent blog-ish, web?site? I'm happy you're here! ***I couldn't figure WordPress out so here I am back at Blogger. As shitty as you are, Blogger, I don't have time to break in a new program and teach it the way I like things, so welcome back, baby.***

I'm happy I'm here! It means I'm traveling! This time its to London to stay with Stella. "Is this a rerun?," longtime readers may wonder. It's not! That was in 2017 when we were all naive and healthy little Sarah Conners. Now its 2022 and we've been weathered by Hell, our flowing manes haven’t had a regular shampoo in a couple years, and we've got hair-trigger anxiety attacks. We are now SARAH FUCKING CONNER. Weary, ready, eyez on the prize. My prize? Seeing Heathers: The Musical off The West End in London.

 

It's a new dawn. It's a new day.

Monday, Jan 24
How cute that I was so bloggy excited! Jet lag deflated that balloon for the last few days, but I’m (crossing fingers) feeling (knocking wood) pretty (wishing on a star) okay (sign of the cross) now. (Praying.)

Flashback to Thursday’s flying highlights:
FLIGHT: As vulnerable as you will feel, I HIGHLY recommend flying during a pandemic. On every flight I’ve taken since March 2020, if I haven’t had an empty seat next to me, I’ve had the whole row to myself. These flights were no exception. The flights were 1/4 - 1/3 full which left row upon row of seats for me to stretch out on like the masked and sweaty queen I am.
MASK: The N95 mask my partner got me was medical grade with plastic around the edges to fully encase my nose and mouth. It made me look like Howard the Duck and I loved it. Sure I was sweating under the plastic, but I wasn’t breathing in anything bad other than my breath. And even that wasn’t terrible. You know how the smell of your own farts can be pleasing in a very specific way? My minestrone soup and garlic bread breath was like that.
BATHROOM: The first time I went to the bathroom on my flight fm JFK to London, I was pleased to find the bathroom was bigger than I was used to and the water was scorching hot because these are the tiny miracle gifts you get when you fly economy on an international flight. Suddenly, finally, it sank in: I’m flying to one of my favorite cities in the world so spend a few weeks with my best of best best friends! I had to dance! It was so fun, I bathroom-dance-partied every time I saw a toilet for the next day or so. HIGHLY RECOMMEND.
SMARTYPANTS: My flight from JFK to London was a red-eye. Normally I’m a SUPERFAN of airplane food. Instead of staying awake long enough to eat the meal I’d spent full precious minutes of my life researching online (Should order an Asian Vegetarian Meal or one of the religious diet meals…? Or no, bc what if its just rice?) I smugly stretched out across an aisle I wasn’t assigned to and made 53 adjustments before I counted sheep over and over… I woke up after a couple hours of bad sleep to see it was 8am London time. I’d done it! I started my jet lag transition early because I’m A Smart Traveler ;)

Friday highlights:
JOHN: I found Stella’s driver waiting for me outside of baggage with a sign and everything. I love an airport sign. It makes me feel real special. John was so awesome! We chatted the 45 minute ride into London. He showed me Robbie Williams’ house and Robert Plant’s house. (They’re neighbors! It’s cute.)
THE FLAT: Stella and I have been lucky enough to travel and stay in flats in many countries and her current home is my absolute favorite. Its decorated in the perfect mix of both our personalities. Irreverence, beauty, clean lines, boho textiles, the female form in all different shapes and sizes, bold colors and books for days, all about art and politics. I’m in home love.
STELLA!!!!!!: OH, its so good to be with my friend. I’ve missed her so much!

See ya later, America.

JET LAG: Determined to not have a repeat of my last London experience where jet lag just killed me, I took walks, went grocery shopping, got a Covid test, and made a huge pot of lentils to stay awake. It worked! I was incoherent, but awake. Then I hallucinated that Today Tix had cancelled the tickets I got us for Pride & Prejudice the following weekend. I bought another set of tickets. I figured out that TodayTix cancelled another show (& Juliet for which I also bought another ticket). I realized I now own 2 sets of P&P tickets for the same night and I was time to go to sleep.
I dropped dead in my bed at 10:45.
I woke up at midnight.
I watched an episode of Maid. (Anyone else watching this? It is excruciating. I like it, but JESUS.) I turned off everything, determined to lay in the dark until I fell asleep because blue light and all that. I googled tips for jet lag. (Tip #4, stay off your phone before bed.) Lights out. I had a short talk with the potential ghost that was making my bed shift at random intervals, and respectfully notified it that I was staying for almost 3 weeks so… let’s be good roommates. I DM’d a friend I want to see on this trip. Lights out. For real this time. I thought about my life. I started to cry. My decisions. My career. The two extra tickets to Pride & Prejudice that I need to sell. I cried harder. I couldn't stop. This went on for a while. I went to the bathroom and started my period at that exact moment. I think I said out loud, “Oh, hello.” I stopped trying to fall asleep and instead turned to the one thing that always makes me feel better: my partner. I FaceTimed Chris and I don’t remember what we talked about, but after a while he let me go bc I was drifting off. I looked at the time: 415a. Wide awake again…